


Spinning

by tinyhakyeon



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Produce X 101 (TV), X1 (Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, First Time, M/M, Set after the finale, and doing other things ;)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 20:02:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19893541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyhakyeon/pseuds/tinyhakyeon
Summary: The aftermath of the finale, and what it does to the unspoken feelings between two people.





	Spinning

**Author's Note:**

> can you say RUN ON SENTENCES????? let’s just say it’s the style of capturing hangyul’s train of thought lol
> 
> anyway I saw a video of seungyoun’s reaction to hangyul getting into the group and it made me Feel Things so here we are
> 
> 2AM THOUGHTS PLEASE BE KIND 
> 
> love y’all seunggyul nation

Hangyul’s head was spinning. 

If he was being completely honest, he hadn’t expected this. Sure, some small, small part of him had hoped— a little more than hoped, prayed would be more accurate— but the chances of Dongwook calling out his name had felt slim to none. He’d even started saying his goodbye’s. 

“You’ll debut, I just know it!”

“Like hell I will,” Hangyul had snorted, with less humor than he had hoped, and pushed Seungyoun by the shoulder. “Since I know you’re gonna debut and leave me behind, the least you can do is let me say this goodbye, hyung.”

“Enough with the goodbyes! And we don’t know shit. What if I don’t debut? Who knows? Who knows anything? Huh?” Seungyoun had leaned forward obnoxiously and Hangyul had pushed his face backwards, genuinely laughing at his brazen tone. 

Who knew anything, indeed. 

Hangyul leaned against the wall, sighing, grateful to have found a private spot away from the madness. It had been mere minutes since he had left the scene where it all happened, and he could still hear the kids who had lingered but they all felt so far, far away. Every once in a while someone would pass by the quiet, dead-end hallway that he occupied, but they were all too caught up in their own business to notice Hangyul. All but one. 

“Hey, what are you doing back here?” Seungyoun exclaimed after doing a dramatic double take. Hangyul sighed, motioning for him to come closer and stop drawing attention. A stupid grin spread across Seungyoun’s face and Hangyul’s heartbeat sped up considerably at the way it looked like Seungyoun was trying to keep some sort of secret between them. Strange. 

“Hey,” Seungyoun said casually, leaning against the wall next to him. 

“Hey,” Hangyul echoed, but it came out a lot breathier than he had intended. He chalked it up to the craziness of the entire situation, his debut— debut, god it didn’t feel real— and not the fact that something about this felt too close. Something about sharing this quiet, secret space with Seungyoun felt too intimate for some reason. 

Seungyoun let out a short laugh, presumably at Hangyul’s sudden awkwardness. Hangyul braced himself for a joke, but instead Seungyoun turned to face him, eyes soft. 

“I really am proud of you,” he said quietly, and Hangyul felt his heart clench. Hangyul knew Seungyoun’s genuine heart underneath all the jokes he buried it with, but it still hit him hard. 

“We’re really gonna debut together. We did it.” Seungyoun’s voice was barely a whisper. Hangyul could feel Seungyoun’s breath ghosting over his lips— wait, when did he get that close? Hangyul’s heart was racing. He leaned back slightly to take in Seungyoun’s features. Even in the dim lighting of the back hallway, Seungyoun was stunning. His hair was mussed up just so from the presumably countless hands of other trainees running through it to congratulate him. The corners of his lips were turned up just slightly, resembling a cat. His eyes were sparkling, actually sparkling, and it was then that Hangyul wondered why he was studying his friend’s face like this. Why he felt his heart beat nearly out of his chest with Seungyoun so close to him in such a quiet, secluded space. It had been months since they had ever been alone, with no camera shoved in their faces or hiding up in the corner watching them cry. There was no one here but them. Lee Hangyul and Cho Seungyoun and the sound of their breaths, slightly faster than normal breaths. And Seungyoun was coming closer to him again. 

“How are you feeling?” Seungyoun all but whispered. Hangyul shook his head, afraid the words wouldn’t even come out if he tried. Seungyoun was looking him right in the eyes, so intense that Hangyul wanted to look away but he couldn’t, just couldn’t. Couldn’t stop himself from leaning in as if pushed by some invisible force and before he knew it— and also somehow after too, too long— his lips were on Seungyoun’s. Seungyoun sighed into his kiss as if he had been waiting for it, waiting for Hangyul to make the first move. Seungyoun shifted their positions to put Hangyul’s back to the wall, suddenly grabbing onto the back of Hangyul’s neck with one hand while settling the other on Hangyul’s waist, kissing him more deeply. Hangyul let his own hands rest on Seungyoun’s hips, parting his lips and tilting his head to give Seungyoun better access. 

Hangyul’s head was spinning even more, trying to keep up with the fact that he was suddenly kissing his close friend after all the debut craziness, but Seungyoun’s tongue was in his mouth and it was hard to focus on anything else. Hangyul involuntarily tightened his grip on Seungyoun’s hips and Seungyoun let out a small high pitched whine. Something in Hangyul’s body reacted to the noise and he pulled away abruptly, breathing heavily. Seungyoun’s breathing mirrored his own, but his eyes were wide, pupils blown, and it scared Hangyul as reality began to set in. 

“What are we doing?” Hangyul whispered shakily. Seungyoun stared at him, and for the first time, he too looked visibly shaken. 

“If I said this was all just in the heat of the moment, you were the first person I saw and therefore the one I had to take my stress out on,” Seungyoun said slowly, “Would you believe me?” 

Hangyul paused for a moment, considering his words carefully. 

“No.” 

Hangyul could see the gears turning in Seungyoun’s head, could visibly see him process what he should do next. In the end, Seungyoun simply sighed. He gave Hangyul a soft, tired smile, reaching up to pat him on the head gently. 

“Congratulations on your debut.”

Hangyul’s heart was tight. 

***

The cold air was a welcome feeling on Hangyul’s face. While he enjoyed the party the other nineteen trainees had thrown in celebration— in a sort of cramped, loud kind of way— he really needed to get away from it all. Nineteen trainees meant nineteen trainees plus their ten thousand other trainee friends. Needless to say, it was way too many people in one small dance studio. 

Luckily, Hangyul had been able to slip away, unnoticed, to the roof. He had snagged a bottle of grapefruit soju that Sihun and Hyeonsu had somehow managed to acquire, and now he could be alone with his thoughts. He swept his gaze over the rooftop area which was bathed in moonlight and beautiful in a quiet, lonely way. He walked over to a small section where a wall blocked his view to the door; just in case anyone else happened to come up, he could still stay hidden. Hangyul sat down on the ground, leaning back against the wall and taking a swig of soju. He gazed out at the world around him, or at least the tops of the buildings in the surrounding area, windows reflecting the moonlight back at him. 

Hangyul stiffened at the sound of footsteps, hoping whoever it was wouldn’t come closer and blow his cover. He squeezed his eyes shut as if it would hide him. When he opened them again, he found himself looking up at who else but Cho Seungyoun. 

“Mind if I join you?” Seungyoun’s smile was bright. “It was too loud in there.”

“ _You’re_ loud,” Hangyul mumbled and Seungyoun chuckled in response, sliding down next to him. He clinked his own matching bottle of soju to Hangyul’s before bringing it to his lips. Hangyul tried not to stare at the way Seungyoun’s lips were wrapped around the bottle...

“How are you feeling?” Seungyoun’s words echoed around in his head for a moment before he realized they were the exact words he had said to him the day before, in that hallway. 

Hangyul set his bottle down before flinging his arms around Seungyoun’s neck and crashing their lips together. Seungyoun let out a small sound of surprise before steadying his hands on Hangyul’s waist and kissing him back. Even if many things were unclear in Hangyul’s head, one thing had become certain— he was ridiculously attracted to Seungyoun. Since when? Since...well, maybe since he met him? Maybe since they teamed up during Love Shot and he saw him in that blue suit with his hair styled up just so? It wasn’t even just that Hangyul found him physically attractive; they had gotten steadily closer as the show progressed and Hangyul saw Seungyoun as someone to look up to and rely on. Not only did Seungyoun’s bright smile give him butterflies, but his genuine happiness made Hangyul feel warm inside. God, how long had he been suppressing those feelings? 

Hangyul had somehow maneuvered himself onto Seungyoun’s lap as they kissed, but he paused swiftly as he felt something hard brush the inside of his thigh. 

“Fuck! Sorry,” Seungyoun hissed. “Sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m just— god, I’m kinda tipsy and I’m _really_ fucking turned on right now and— shit, I don’t wanna pressure you into anything so we can just stop right now and I can deal with this myself—“ 

Later, Hangyul could blame it on the alcohol as he shut Seungyoun up by pressing his palm steadily into Seungyoun’s crotch. Seungyoun let out a strangled moan that went straight to Hangyul’s own groin. He palmed at Seungyoun’s crotch, feeling himself grow harder at the noises he was pulling from him. If anyone were to walk in on them now... 

Hangyul decided that they were secluded enough to not be seen, unbuttoning Seungyoun’s jeans and pulling the zipper down before his subconscious could tell him not to. He had never done anything like this in his life before, but there was something about the buzzing atmosphere, the high from the previous day, and _Seungyoun_ that was making him bold. 

He hovered his fingertips over Seungyoun’s crotch, a tiny burst of confidence letting him ask, “Can I?” Seungyoun nodded quickly, breathing deeply as Hangyul dipped his hand into Seungyoun’s underwear and wrapped his hand around Seungyoun’s dick. It was a strange and foreign feeling, having a dick in his hand that wasn’t his own. It was so strange that he almost backed out immediately, but Seungyoun let out the tiniest of moans at the contact and that motivated Hangyul to go further. 

Hangyul pulled Seungyoun’s dick out of his underwear and gave a swift stroke, but Seungyoun grabbed his wrist. 

“Wait,” Seungyoun’s voice was strained, “What the fuck, you can’t just give me a handjob with my dick all out like this, I can’t make a mess on these clothes.” Hangyul felt himself flush fully at the image as well as the embarrassment from the situation. 

“Um...” He sat there momentarily, still holding Seungyoun’s dick uselessly as he struggled to figure out what to do next. Seungyoun stared at him expectantly. When he realized he wasn’t getting a response, he slowly prompted, “Perhaps...you can...uh...suck it instead?” 

Hangyul felt his blood run cold at the suggestion. “Suck...it?” Seungyoun narrowed his eyes in genuine confusion before realization dawned over him. 

“Oh my god, you’ve never sucked dick before...” 

Hangyul was suddenly very aware of where his hand was, and he released his grip immediately, sheepishly shrugging his shoulders. 

“Have you?” was the only thing Hangyul could come up with to say, and Seungyoun laughed wholeheartedly. 

“I’m not gonna lie to you,” Seungyoun snickered. “Yes, yes I have.” For some reason, Hangyul’s dick reacted to that, his brain helpfully supplying the image of Seungyoun on his knees, lips wrapped around someone’s cock...

“I won’t make you do that since you’ve never done it before,” Seungyoun assured him before chuckling lightly. “But damn this boner is gonna be a bitch to get rid of if I can’t find a quiet place to jack off...” 

“I’ll do it.” 

Seungyoun’s expression was full of surprise and Hangyul was sure his own expression mirrored his. He wasn’t sure where this confidence was coming from, but he really did have the curiosity and a strange desire to try it. 

“Hey, now,” Seungyoun’s voice was suddenly very serious, no trace of a joke left in it. “You really, really don’t have to.” He covered himself with his hands, concern crossing over his features as he looked, really looked at Hangyul. “I really mean it. I know you haven’t done this kind of stuff before and this probably isn’t the setting you would want to do it in. I’ll be fine! We can go back to the party, because it’s much more important for you to be comfortable. Seriously.” 

Hangyul’s heart swelled at the genuine concern in Seungyoun’s tone. He took a deep breath. He could blame the alcohol all he wanted, but the truth was that he had only taken a few sips and this confidence was all coming from himself. 

“No, Seungyoun. I really want to,” Hangyul said firmly, meaning it. He still didn’t quite know what they were to each other, but what Hangyul knew to be most important was that they cared deeply for each other. He cared deeply for Seungyoun, and he wanted to have this moment, his first time, with Seungyoun. The opportunity may not come again. Seungyoun nodded slowly, smiling.

“If you really want to, and if you’re absolutely sure, then by all means, go for it,” Seungyoun said, leaning back. Hangyul took a deep breath, then quickly let the breath out. “What if I’m bad? I have no idea what I’m doing.” 

“Just give it a try, when you’re ready.” Seungyoun’s voice was calming. “I’ll guide you if it’s not going well, but it’s easier than you think. Just please, for the love of god, do not use your teeth.” 

Hangyul was pretty sure he could have figured that one out, but he was suddenly nervous about using his teeth by accident. Summoning up his courage, he leaned down, finding himself face to face with Seungyoun’s cock. It was quite intimidating. Before he could change his mind, he closed the distance and took the head cautiously into his mouth. He felt Seungyoun tense under him. 

“Please, Hangyul, please mov- ah!” Seungyoun reacted as Hangyul flicked his tongue right under the head. Feeling a burst of confidence from the positive reaction, Hangyul took more of Seungyoun into his mouth. It was completely strange and like nothing Hangyul had ever experienced before, but he wanted to hear more of those sounds from Seungyoun. He began to bob his head up and down, taking more of Seungyoun into his mouth each time until he could feel himself gag slightly, in which he pulled back a bit. He was a bit disappointed that he was unable to take Seungyoun fully into his mouth, but the length was doing things to Hangyul’s imagination. He knew enough to make up the difference with his hand. 

“Hangyul...Hangyul...” Seungyoun gasped out. “I’m...you know...I’m gonna...” 

Fuck. He hadn’t thought this the whole way through. Hangyul pulled back slightly, but didn’t have enough time to think before his mouth was suddenly filled with a thick, sticky liquid. He knew it was coming, but it still took him by surprise, and he slid backwards, choking a bit before spitting it all out on the ground. 

“No, Hangyul, that’s awful,” Seungyoun whined weakly, but there was still amusement in his voice. Hangyul grimaced at the mess, pulling several tissues out of his pocket and covering the mess with them. 

“In my defense, it tasted nasty,” Hangyul sniffed. Seungyoun laughed breathlessly. Hangyul let himself take in what he had just done, sighing in wonder. 

“Hey, you want...me to take care of that for you?” It took Hangyul a second to realize Seungyoun was motioning to the tent in his own jeans. He dipped his head down, embarrassed. 

“Ah...I mean, yeah, that would be great,” Hangyul stammered, nerves suddenly kicking back in. 

“Can you stand?” Hangyul nodded, standing shakily. 

“Back against the wall,” Seungyoun ordered, and Hangyul shivered at his tone. Seungyoun tucked himself back into his pants and re-buttoned and zipped his jeans before positioning himself on his knees in front of Hangyul. Hangyul felt his own knees go weak. 

Seungyoun undid Hangyul’s jeans and Hangyul shivered violently at the first touch of Seungyoun’s hand to his cock. He saw Seungyoun smirk beneath him as he pulled Hangyul’s cock out, letting it spring free. 

“Seungyoun,” Hangyul managed to choke out, “I’m going to warn you. This is going to be embarrassingly short.” Seungyoun laughed lightly and in spite of their situation, Hangyul could feel his heart sing. 

It was all too much when Seungyoun finally put him in his mouth. He didn’t bother holding back his moans as he felt Seungyoun’s sinful tongue working skillfully against him. Without realizing it, he had threaded a hand into Seungyoun’s hair and was gripping into it. Seungyoun moaned at the feeling and Hangyul nearly collapsed from the vibrations around his dick. It wasn’t long before Hangyul was tapping on Seungyoun’s shoulder, unable to use his words to warn him. Seungyoun pulled back just enough as Hangyul came into his mouth with a deep groan. He watched as Seungyoun swallowed expertly, not spilling even a tiny drop as he slipped his mouth cleanly off of his dick. 

“God...how do you do that?” Hangyul sighed wistfully, sinking back down to the ground. 

“Practice,” Seungyoun chuckled. He allowed Seungyoun to carefully tuck his dick back into his underwear and do up his pants, then the two of them collapsed against the wall, exhausted. 

“Well,” Seungyoun finally broke the silence. 

“Well,” Hangyul repeated. 

“I don’t know when we’ll ever have the chance to do something like that again,” Seungyoun sighed. Hangyul nodded in agreement. 

“But it was good. Really good,” Seungyoun affirmed. His eyes flicked towards Hangyul’s lips and he leaned in, but Hangyul leaned away from it. Seungyoun leaned back and looked at him, insecurity suddenly crossing his features. Hangyul felt his heart clench. He didn’t want Seungyoun to misunderstand. 

“No, it’s just,” Hangyul said quickly, “Isn’t it a bit gross?” The insecurity washed away immediately, and Seungyoun raised an incredulous but playful eyebrow. 

“Hangyul. You just had my dick in your mouth, and now kissing me is gross?” 

Hangyul felt himself go red. “You know that’s not what I meant...” Seungyoun laughed. 

“I know.”

Seungyoun leaned back in and this time Hangyul allowed himself to be kissed. He let his eyes flutter shut as he felt Seungyoun’s hands come up to cradle his face. Seungyoun kissed him gently and slowly, almost making Hangyul believe that they had all the time in the world. 

Maybe someday, they would. 

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was slightly edited in order to make the consent more clear! consent is very important 👍
> 
> also here’s the link to the video I was talking about. I have no idea how to make it not look like a link because im ridiculous and still don’t know how to use this site after three whole years so im putting it in the end notes https://twitter.com/seungyoun101/status/1152305499817119744?s=21


End file.
